Stressed about stress tests

Aug. 10th, 2025 11:40 am
dorchadas: (FFX-2 Yuna Gravity Release Me)
[personal profile] dorchadas
More spontaneous restarts with WHEA errors (could be caused by...a ton of things).

So I'm sitting here running some diagnostics and seeing if I can fix the problem. Hopefully I don't need a new computer.
dorchadas: (Sawa-chan headbanging)
[personal profile] dorchadas
[instagram.com profile] sashagee and I went out to an event!

2025-08-07 - Wamono Splash image

Ever since Murasaki closed last year, I've been glad that I got a chance to take [instagram.com profile] sashagee there to see Van Paugam spin one of his sets before the end, and I've been on the lookout for more chances to see him. The people at the Anime Club mentioned this event, hosted by the Japanese Cultural Center in Kamehachi, the first sushi bar in Chicago, so I got tickets, yesterday morning [instagram.com profile] sashagee drove Laila out to spend some time at the grandparents--not a problem, Laila has been clamoring to see grandma and grandpa basically all week--and in the evening we got on the L and headed down to Kamehachi. The hostess saw how we were dressed and immediately asked us if we were there for the event and then ushered us upstairs.

The music schedule was Japanese vinyl from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and we arrived during the 70s section, took our bentō and out complimentary drinks, and sat down on one of the high tables.

It was a lot of fun! [instagram.com profile] sashagee, inveterate gacha fan that she is, bought a mystery box and then when Van Paugam offered another mystery box to the couple with the best dancing, we went out on to the dance floor and won the box! We got a lot of dancing in--though not as much as one guy, who spent basically the entire evening on the dance floor even when he was the only one there--[instagram.com profile] sashagee got to hear her favorite city pop song, Mayonaka no Door -stay with me, when the Hits section came on at the very end, and we chatted with people and had a lovely time. They even promised to do another event, though since we were in the slightly closed-in upstairs of Kamehachi and it was kind of hot, Van Paugam mentioned it would probably not be until next year to avoid the heat from causing any more problems.

I need to keep better tabs on his sets. The only problem is that they're mostly only announced a short time beforehand, and having Laila means we can't exactly drop anything and head out on a moment's notice. But right now we almost never get a date night, and that's definitely not helping things. It'll be better when Laila's speech is better, because right now [instagram.com profile] sashagee is worried that if we got a babysitter and something happened, Laila wouldn't be able to tell us what was wrong. So we need to wait a few months and see if her speech improves, and then we can re-evaluate.
dorchadas: (Awake in the Night)
[personal profile] dorchadas
That happens so incredibly rarely nowadays that I had to write it down.

It was basically inside a first-person shooter video game, in that I was basically a floating camera with a gun (as the saying goes) and almost never had any real sense of my body or its physical existence. The dream took place inside a sprawling haunted house in a way that my waking mind recognizes as obviously a product of video game considerations (like the giant stepped courtyard with basically no furniture and a thirty-foot wall separating it from the outside) but which seemed perfectly reasonable inside the dream. There was what we would call a hub area with several other people, but I can't remember anything about them other than their existence.

Everything beyond that was extremely gamey. In the dream I was exploring the corridors, fighting enemies, picking up weapons, and so on. The only weapons I remember are some kind of staff thing that required charging up attacks before being able to get off a shot and the trusty v1.0 Booted Foot. Enemies I remember a bit more variety: there were floating balls of light that zapped me, a gray faceless mannequin in a black coat that grabbed me and slowed me down (having this happen was basically the only time I had any sensation of my body), a blue floating headless shadow in a thick cloak, and a giant dog but one which looked more like the faehounds from Final Fantasy XIV. I went around exploring, fought enemies, went back to the hub area and healed up and talked with the NPCs, you know, like a game. And eventually in that courtyard a mannequin grabbed me and I guess that sensation of actually having a body shocked me out of the dream because that's when I woke up.

This is obviously inspired by me playing Infra Arcana lately.

To never come back

Aug. 9th, 2025 12:48 am
kiramori: (Default)
[personal profile] kiramori

Not really in a good place mentally, sometimes feeling I'm just one more bad day away from doing something that I'll surely regret.

I've been in a show, a super cool one. I've met some new indie bands and got to see some of my favourites. It was cool. However I think it highlighted how much of a social outcast I am. Ever since that, I've been struggling with socialization (I always did), and it's trully pushing me down into a hole thinking about that.

I'm tired, now very sick too, and overwhelmed as hell. I'm trying my best but I'm just so tired, so, so tired.

I'm sorry there's nothing smart, quirky or fun to say. I wish I could keep my online persona going for a bit longer.

To try and not be so negative, I can say that I've really enjoyed the time I got to spend with other people. The smallest conversations are bringing me genuine joy, even if they make me feel awful sometimes. There's much about me I'd wish to change right now, but if I can't do that, then I guess I'll have to just suck it up sometime soon.

Not now, though. For now, opening my eyes hurt. My throat is sore, my nose is running and I feel weak.

Perhaps that is a problem for another time, another me.

Then I'll just leave it at that and, say my goodbyes to the me that's this sad piece of nothing.

When you next hear of me, I hope I'll already be someone different.

Two annoyances

Aug. 7th, 2025 05:12 pm
dorchadas: (In America)
[personal profile] dorchadas
Annoyance the First:

I wrote a bit ago about how my computer is acting up, and having looked into it, it seems to just be a problem endemic to the Ryzen 5800 processor series--which is what I have, of course. There's a ton of threads about it with people's problems and solutions and so far I have two problems:
  1. Screen turns back and the fans spin up: The one person I found with an actual diagnosis said this is related to the graphics card overvolting, so I downloaded MSI Afterburner and limited it to 90% of normal maximum voltage since it's not like I play Crysis on max on this machine anyway. It hasn't happened since but it only happens once every few weeks so no way to tell if it's actually fixed.
  2. Spontaneous restarts during idle: Everyone seems to agree this is a problem with one or more of the cores undervolting, hence why it only happens during idle periods. There are a ton of solutions posted out there and I did try one that worked for a while (setting the power plan to high performance--I have a desktop, it's always plugged in anyway), but recently it started happening again. While investigating possible solutions, I saw people mentioning their BIOS version and thought, huh, I should look into that too and it turned out that the BIOS I have is version 303 and dated to 2021 (a year before I bought this computer). We're now up to 307 released this year. Well, the BIOS is partially responsible for controlling core voltage so updating certainly isn't going to make it worse, so I updated. It's been a couple days and I haven't had any spontaneous restarts yet, but we'll see if I need to keep looking. Everything I found online seemed to indicate this is a problem that gets solved different ways for different people because computers are notoriously finicky, so I might be back to the well.
All I can really say is, though, I have never previously had this degree of difficulty with a computer. I took a chance on AMD and boy have I had nothing but problems. Never again.

Annoyance the Second:

So yesterday I went into to buy Laila's medicine for the month as I do when she runs out and it came to this princely sum of three-hundred and twenty US American dollars, of which one single medication was $300. I asked the person at the counter what was going on, and she said that the manufacturer has coupons but I need to call my insurance. So I call my insurance and they tell me I need to call the manufacturer, and also that the insurance has a different price scale based on supply (a 43-day supply, like we got, is more than twice as expensive as a 30-day supply). So I call the manufacturer and can't get a hold of them since it's after 9 p.m., so I try again this morning. The main number you're ""supposed"" to call sends me in circles until the machine hangs up (and later, I learn, does exactly the same thing to the pharmacist when she calls them), so I call a different number and actually get a hold of someone and they tell me that they don't deal with customers at all, the entire thing is handled between pharmacists and the manufacturer. So I go into the pharmacist again, and she has also been on the phone, and the only thing she can say is that maybe the coupon was already applied but it ran out, citing the transaction in June where we were only charged $167 on a $300 expense, and that may be possible--I went back and checked and we were previously charged $55.03 for a for a $159 expense. Which is all well and good I guess, since we're almost at the spending limit for Laila's health insurance for the year, but still.

Well, the doctor wants to take her off two of those medications, and if she responds well, that will vastly reduce our monthly bill. I can only hope, becuase I'd rather not spend $300 a month for one medication on top of the other medical expenses we have. And this is with good insurance!

(That's a lie, America does not have good health insurance, only health insurance that is less bad Emoji Sad Eagle Flag).

The House of Plague

Aug. 6th, 2025 10:54 pm
dorchadas: (Azumanga Daioh Chiyo-chan big eyes)
[personal profile] dorchadas
Well, today was rough.

Last night I started feeling a bit odd at 9 p.m. or so, like I had a frog in my throat, so I assumed I was going to come down with the cold that first Laila and then [instagram.com profile] sashagee had. But then in the middle of the night, I started sweating profusely and my stomach started gurgling, and, well. I thought it was something I had eaten, maybe the sandwich I bought at the work canteen, but the next morning when I woke up after having called off work--[instagram.com profile] sashagee having kindly let me sleep in for a couple hours--it turned out that both she and Laila were also feeling bad in the exact same way. And the air outside was bad, so we didn't go anywhere, we didn't do anything, we just sat around in the morning and Laila watched Bluey and we mostly avoided eating anything. And then by the afternoon, we were basically back to normal again with only a bit of lingering bleh feeling.

I only write about this because it came on all of us nearly at the same time. Usually Laila gets sick first, then [instagram.com profile] sashagee, and then me (and not always me). This time it was [instagram.com profile] sashagee, then Laila, then me, and all within hours of each other. And then gone again by the next day.

I bet we have a lot more of this to look forward to when Laila starts school in a couple weeks(!).

Ghost in The Machine

Aug. 2nd, 2025 02:05 am
kiramori: (Default)
[personal profile] kiramori

I think I'm sleeping well lately, so why am I awake at 2AM?

Getting caught in drama is just my thing — it literally runs in my blood. That's on my father. Weird it is to watch people go. Usually it is so uncalled for that not even the grudges stick for that long.

I'm a diplomat, an empath, and a psychologist sometimes too. I also receive death threats on a regular basis. That's on me. So weird to see all these dead people in my social media, sometimes they move and I'm startled to remember they even existed in the first place, but I know they're dead! To me they are, anyway.

That's right, I'm a problem child, babe! I rock with that unemployment theme song 24/7 — yep, that's me. Sometimes I have so little free time I almost want to eat glue as punishment for daring to stand still while my instant noodles are cooking. Life's a game — I'm minmaxing, got optimization guides, spreadsheets and everything. — I'm also in constant agony derived from unreal expectations.

I wish I was smart — I'd only speak in haiku. Never would I touch a cellphone again, I'm tired of flashy machines, I like the old stuff!!!

What's love about, anyway? I thought I had it all figured out, then I entered a relationship and it turned me inside out (again). I do think that's what I need though, it's all me, me, me, and me all the time. I'm sick of you — get out of my head!

I'd be married to my job if I had one. I guess there's nothing left after all.

I really should get some sleep soon.

A bit late to posting this

Aug. 1st, 2025 06:59 pm
dorchadas: (Angel Azrael Art)
[personal profile] dorchadas
It's been a slow week, but thanks to first Laila and then [instagram.com profile] sashagee being sick with colds, we haven't done that much. After the babymetal concert, [instagram.com profile] sashagee needed some dental work done so Laila went away to papa and nana's for another week and when she came back she was very ornery--I think she finally missed home. It's died down finally, but it was a rough few days.

We have some worries about Laila's speech progression, but one positive thing is that we've gotten a much longer period of cute toddler speech than most parents get. I still smile when Laila points at two things and, with a big grin on her face, says, "Same same!"

I a fun ("fun") argument on a Discord server when I pointed out that the classic "violent Old Testament/ chill New Testament" dichotomy comes from early Christian anti-Jewish attitudes and someone was obsessively fixated with me saying they were thousands of years old. They claimed it only dated to after the Crusades, ignored all evidence otherwise like Chrysostom "Against the Jews," tried to turn it into oppression Olympics by pointing out other places the church had, he claimed, been violent like Ireland (there is no historical evidence of forced conversion in Ireland), and after being wrong about basically everything said he had been compelled to step in because of his autistic fixation (his words) on historical accuracy. It was annoying at the time but in hindsight it's impressive just how completely wrong he was. But yeah, antisemitism is foundational to Western thought and fish cannot see the water they swim in.

Remembering all the times people posted memes about some conservative politician not following biblical rules and me stepping in like "I don't eat shrimp. Idon't wear mixes of wool and linen. Am I following silly outmoded rules?" And of course the meme fails in multiple ways because Christians have an explanation for the parts of the Hebrew Bible they say no longer apply, even if I don't like it.

For most of this month it's been horrifically hot, until just a few days ago the weather finally shifted and some cool winds blew down from Canada...and brought wildfire smoke with them. Yesterday the air quality measure was over 200 and the air smelt like smoke. It's not quite so bad today but the sky has a grey haze to it and it's still not safe to go outdoors. What a lovely summertime this is.

Alright, enough complaining. It's almost Shabbat.

Fanfic Dialogue Game

Jul. 31st, 2025 10:15 pm
evandar: (Bard x Thranduil)
[personal profile] evandar
This was snaffled from [personal profile] kitarella_imagines

i. Look at your last 10** fics.

ii. Make a list of their first lines of dialogue, with any necessary description. No cheating, I mean don't go through your fic looking for the best line of dialogue.

iii. Post them and we'll see if we can guess what the story will be about from the dialogue.


**You may need to go back further than your last 10 fics. I'm not including any fics that are still anonymous, and I'm skipping the really fascinating stuff like "Hi, how are you?"

Read more... )

white people broccoli

Jul. 30th, 2025 03:45 pm
mindstalk: (food)
[personal profile] mindstalk

A few years ago, there was a thing on Tiktok and Twitter to make fun of "white people food", like chicken breast and steamed vegetables supposedly without any spice or seasoning, even salt. At the time I got offended mostly about the "white people" generalization", noting Europe's native pungents like mustard. But. Read more... )

grid cities around the world

Jul. 30th, 2025 12:45 pm
mindstalk: (Default)
[personal profile] mindstalk

There's this belief I've seen, exemplified by a recent Youtube comment:

everyone knows that cities can have grids.

but show a grid city and everyone will guess it's a North American city.

most cities in the world grew organically so grids aren't a big thing everywhere else. you might find a few grids here and there, but that's it. going all out on grids is a North America special.

Read more... )

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